grr, mums gettin on my nerves

[Mrs_Foster]

she keps trying to give me advice about steve, but shes got completely the wrong idea about him!! she keeps saying hes controlling and that he'll end up hurting me but i know he wont, i just wish she'd leave me alone to run my own life, can u boopers help me think of a way 2 let her down gently cos i know shes only trying to help, also, shes quite a hypocrite as the person shes in love with (step-dad) is hurting her a lot too, he decided he was leaving yesterday but i dont believe it, he'll come bk and mum'll let him, she sets herself up, it isnt good , help me boopers!!

Mrs Foster
xxx

[bexi3]

It's hard to listen to what others have to say about someone you love, but she's not doing it to get on your nerves, she's doing it cos she loves you and doesnt want to see you hurt. You're still her little girl, however old you are. Just explain to her calmly that although you understand that she's worried for you (mother's generally are, no matter what the situation) you don't think that she's right and you'd prefer to see for yourself how things turn out.
Also, she must have some reason to doubt your boyfriend - I don't think she would just randomly start saying these things just to cause a problem between you. The last thing you should do though, is rant and rave at her, telling her how wrong you think she is because that will only make things sour between you and if she's going through a tough time herself at the moment then she's going to need your love and support to get her through that.

So...in conclusion...don't be too hard on your mum for caring about your well being. Without sounding patronising, you're still young and impressionable and she's obviously just worried for you.

I'm sure this isn't the answer you were looking for but I felt I should put my pennies worth in....hope you don't mind! ;)

xxxx

[Bikerbettyboop]

Hi Mrs. Foster.. your mom is probably just trying to give you good advice to save you from possible grief later on... don't be too upset with her.. she's probably just looking out for your best interest... but on the other hand... you're very capable of making your own decisions.. so just have fun and enjoy life!!!

[Boopsie-Cola]

hey mrs foster, im sorry to hear about the situation with ur mum its really sad news and hopefully everything will yurn out fine for both u and your mother.
the other 2 boopers are totaly spot on, u gota considor things from her point of view. maybe she just wants you to make the right choice and be cautious about who you go out with. Its easy to see your totally in love with this guy (even i can tel u that!!! :)) and so maybe shes worried that he can take advantage of your feelings (and maybe vulnerability) u just gotta convince her that she can trust u. when i first fell in love id get so angry at anyone who ever tried to get between me and my boyfriend, but u just gota relise that some people get involved coz they care about u and dont wana c u hurt.
just talk 2 ur mum, she means well. but at the same time listen and think about wat shes gota say. dont just do wat most of us normally do and just let it go in 1 ear and out the other, coz more then likely shes got a good point to make.
maybe you cud come to some kinda compromise, has ur mum met ur boyfriend properly? coz she might change her mind is she gets to know him, is it ok if i ask how old u 2 are?
good luk with all, let us know how it goes, bess xx ;)

[Mrs_Foster]

she has met him, but its cos she heard us arguing on the fone a few times and wen i argue with him i get teary cos i dont like it, its just me being melodramatic i suppose but she thinks hes really hurting me, we're 16 and we'll b 17 nxt year, yeh i know that shes just worried aboutme but she keeps telling me things that make me offended as if my judgement of his character isnt worth as much as hers, its MY life and hes MY boyfriend not hers and i wanna decide wat happens not her. im not gonna say anything now tho cos of kev but.... its beugging me and i may end up exploding at her if i dont get it off my chest soon. love you all xxx

[Boopsie-Cola]

i totaly agreee with u, and u obv feel strongly about ur views, and arnt gona change ur mind 4 any1, so im guessing u shud just tell ur mum exactly how u feel. just rmbr she brought u into this world and make sure ur nice in the way u do it, good luk, bess xx

[DEADPOOL]

hey shes the same age as you bess, LOL, funny stuff!!

[Boopsie-Cola]

ys dat funny?

[DEADPOOL]

my secret ;)

[BBooper]

im sorry to hear about your troubles :(

BBooper
xxx

[Bikerbettyboop]

Deadpool's got a secret!!! HA HAHAH!

[livingbooper]

Hey there. I just stumbled across this thread today. Bexi3 and the others have given you great advice. I hope everything has worked out because a bit of time has gone by since anyone's posted.
There are a lot of issues going on. Please keep a straight head, try not to get too worked up. Your mother is going through a painful period right now and is probably scared to death that you'll make the same mistakes she did. Please be easy on her. You are still young and she still sees you as her baby. I'm a middle aged woman and my 70 year-old mom STILL frets over me and feels the need to give me advice about my life! Believe me, that will never change, for me or for you. You hafta learn to listen, acknowlege that she has a concern, let her know that you are totally aware of what you are doing, express appreciation for her love and concern...then go about your life. Please don't make the mistake of hurting her any more than she has been.

I have no children of my own, but I have a lot of experience with hooking up with the wrong men and getting hurt. So I have a pretty good sense of what your mom is going through. And I think that you are right on in your perception that she is projecting her own dilemma onto you. You just have to roll with it. Support her during this time.

I have more I'd like to say to you, but I'll save it for another time.
And regarding men...please do watch your heart!;) Especially at your age. I've been there, done that too....

Well, I hope that all is well on your household now.
And I wish you, your mother, and your boyfriend a very Merry Christmas!!!:D :D :D

---Lizzy

[vanillaswirl23]

hey im a good social worker well im not one of those ppl im just a good person 2 talk 2. ill talk 2 ya if u want me too? just private mail me and ill get back 2 ya.

[bexi3]

We can't use private IM in this forum anymore vanillaswirl - you'll have to share your words of wisdom with all of us!! hehe xxx

[vanillaswirl23]

not funny bexi whatever ur name is. shut up dont get on my nerves....:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[BBooper]

Originally posted by vanillaswirl23
not funny bexi whatever ur name is. shut up dont get on my nerves....:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:


Vanilla that is not a nice thing to say to a regular on the forum. She is trying to help you not annoy you. maybe you should calm down abit and use resonable behaviour. you've already been told once by MGChan. i think you should relax a little and enjoy the forum!

BBooper
xxx

[DEADPOOL]

Whoa, Whoa, a moderator is in the house! SO whats going on here, just a couple of things, bad behaviour wont help you or any others around you, its just get you in trouble with everyone and even in trouble with yourself cause you might become banned from the forums!! AH-OH, so lets all chill and get on with the great great forum life.

[vanillaswirl23]

gees im srry im a newbie i have a really okward life and stuff i cant help it ...........................

[Bikerbettyboop]

Hey Vanilla... you are not allowed to be mean on this forum and your remarks to Bexi are uncalled for! Please don't abuse this forum by leaving negative comments aimed at other forum members. Bexi is correct in stating that this is a forum and not a private email service. Please be more tactful in the future.