children with disabilities

[melisa73074]

I really need some really good advice. I have a friend that has a son with ADHD( attention deficite hyertnesion disorder)and im always telling her that some of the things that he does she has to ignore it. She is very hard on him and it makes me very upset that she does this. the worst part of all is that she is very verbal with him. She calls him all kinds of names that no one should be called, it should not matter how stressed her day was. I tell her that she should not take it out on her son, but then she gets mad at me because she thinks that im telling her that she is not a good parent. I just need some advice on how to tell her to stop it, in a way that is not offensive. PLEASE help me!:eek:

[lilhommieb74]

well u should tell her dat to remember dat her son is not doing dat on purpose.....its just da way he iz and dat he shouldnt be treating her like that just cuz da way he acts...... maybe u would tell her 2 go c a conserler to help her understand and help her hav more patience..

[melisa73074]

thanks for ur advice. i really appreciate: :D :D :D

[boopcrazy]

well i was told by my son's doctor that he has ADD and is in between moderate to sevier ADHD as well to tell you the truth i'm so sure that is the case i think that maybe he does have a little bit of the ADD and he is almost 8yrs old. Can i ask how old the child is? and truthfully boys are boys and yes she should not be takin her day out on him you tell her that if she's gettin to stressed out with him or anything else to just send him to play outside or in his room or somthin like that.

When i get to where i'm gettin a bit to stressed i just tell my kids (i have 3 boys 4, 6, 8) that, thats it i'm gettin stressed to to stay away from me and leave me alone and i will go in my room or have them go in theres and try to keep my distance from them as best as possible, she can also put in a movie for him and have sit and watch it or cartoons while she sits and reads or listens to music or whatever she likes to do to relax and calm down a bath a shower if she has someone that can watch him a husband boyfriend or friend or maybe even you she can go for a drive a walk or somehtin or even take him in the car and drive turn the music up and tone out and yes you were right for tellin her to just ignor what he's doin i do that with my kids cause if you don't you will go crazy and get a bit insane which sounds like what is happenin to her.

I'm sorry for the long post but i hope this helps from one mother of boys to another (your friend).

Oh and tell her that when she feels like callin a name instead of sayin it out loud she could just catch herself and say it to herself and under her breath in another room away from him.

I hope this helps you and her.

[Candlesnboop]

Melisa....email me I have done many research projects on ADD an ADHD..... I may be able to help ....Is he on any mediccine??


P.S. ADD & ADHD are genetic!!!

Email me soon Lisa

Rlaoehler@msn.com

[Bikerbettyboop]

Hi Melisa it sounds like you already gave your friend good advice and I'm happy to see other members offering advice to you as well. Hang in there with your friend because it sounds like she needs your friendship and advice. Best wishes to both of you.

[Neckless]

73074...Stick by your friend. She, in deed...is in need of your support and sound advice. Go on line or call their 1-800 line and get information that will be of assistance to your friend. A brochure/pamphlet can be sent out to you to share with her.
Parents ...just because they are parents...don't know the answers to problems associated with such a devastating illness. When I first started teaching...my students were all 5 and 6 year olds with ADD and ADHD. Some of them were autistic. Parents HAVE to have help with these disorders. They will be adults one day. http://www.addadhd.com/

Seek the advice of professionals.

It needs to be attended to.

PS...You are a good friend.

[melisa73074]

I am speechless, all of u r just great, and i just want to say thx.:D

[melisa73074]

The boy im talking about is 12 years of age and he is on concerta. i dont know much about it, but i know that its suppose to be 4 24hrs. i just dont see it. im worried about that she has already lowered his self-esteem with the name calling because when he comes to my house he is very calm and not jumpy. when hes at home he looks like if he took speed or something. thats y im so concerned. thx for listening, luv ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Neckless]

Parents can be so selfish and uncaring. It's because they first...have to understand the art of parenting.
This illness is genetically connected.

The apple doesn't roll too far from the tree...unless the tree is on a hill.

[Candlesnboop]

Accually Concerta is a medicine that last 8hrs at a time... I used to be on it before I was pregnant and taking college courses... I think Mom is haveing more of a hard time coping with the fact that he has it than the child him self...
Take care Melisa....

Lisa Email me again if you need to talk about it:)

[Candlesnboop]

BTW Concerta is a form of Speed... for those who take Concerta it acually is suppose to calm them down and bring them to a level to where they can concentrate. Maybe he is not taking it when he is at home.... I donno!!??

Lisa

[melisa73074]

I just wanted everyone to know that i spoke with my friend, and we came to an agrrement. She picked up the phone and called her son's doctor and asked for a refferal to a theripist. Thx to all of u, i finally did it
<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_12_4.gif' border=0></a>

[Neckless]

NO substitute for professional assistance. I happy that you...DID IT!
You're a good friend.

[Bikerbettyboop]

Good for you Melisa for having the courage to address this issue with your friend.....and even better for your friend if she follows through on seeking professional help. Best wishes to you both and her son as well.

[mgchan]

There's been sound advice given and taken here. Congrats all! Take a moment to pat yourselves on the back! :)

[melisa73074]

okie-dokie:cool:

[Neckless]

MGCHAN's the MAN!!!

[Neckless]

M'Lisa73...how'd this situation turn out? S'everything on track?

[melisa73074]

Hey, things are getting better and better everyday. She finally is getting help and im there helping her out.and now i feel much better knowing that she is treating him better and herself. I'm glad that i friends like u boopers to help me out. thank u so much, peace and love!!!<a href='http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008' target='_blank'><img src='http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/23_5_102.gif' border=0></a>

[Bikerbettyboop]

Glad to hear that this situation is being resolved and that you're there to help her out Melisa. You're a good friend!! :)